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Saturday, 12 July 2008

question
What is a firefly?..........
1. A soft bodied beetle related to the the glowworm, the winged male and flightless female of which both have luminescent organs. The light is produced as a signal between the sexes especially in flashes.
  
  or. . .
2. A magical sprite that causes grown individuals to chase a flickering light around and around. And when you finally do manage to grasp one you close your fist tight just like you did when you were a child so that you can see its luminescent light glowing in your closed hand. Only this tiny creature could elicit such a sense of wonder and childlike thrill when your hand is slowly opened and it crawls to the tips of your fingers opens its wings and gracefully flies up into the waiting sky.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

choices

Tonight I had a conversation with someone about a change that they were considering for their life. The conversation got me thinking about all the choices we have each day. Some are as simple as paper or plastic, what to have for lunch or whether or not to sleep in an extra fifteen minutes. Some are not so easy or made so flippantly. Should you change your job, step out into the unknown take a chance with what might be or stay where you are and know what to expect. Should you risk a friendship over words that were said in complete innocence but carried with them the ability to hurt? Is now a good time to speculate with your finances at a time when much is down but could possibily reap big rewards later on? These are big things but are there bigger? What about the person who has to decide the value of a life when someone is laying in a hospital bed and doctors have said its hopeless or a mother is told at her ultrasound that this new precious life is defective, not right, not normal like other children. Or what do you do with the child who thought they were an adult and made a mistake and now someone who never had the chance to make their own choice is laying hurt or dying? We have so many choices we can make everyday. Some are so easy that we take them for grant. Its those that make us stop and think consider the outcome of our choices that really get our attention,
choices

Tonight I had a conversation with someone about a change that they were considering for their life. The conversation got me thinking about all the choices we have each day. Some are as simple as paper or plastic, what to have for lunch or whether or not to sleep in an extra fifteen minutes. Some are not so easy or made so flippantly. Should you change your job, step out into the unknown take a chance with what might be or stay where you are and know what to expect. Should you risk a friendship over words that were said in complete innocence but carried with them the ability to hurt? Is now a good time to speculate with your finances at a time when much is down but could possibily reap big rewards later on? These are big things but are there bigger? What about the person who has to decide the value of a life when someone is laying in a hospital bed and doctors have said its hopeless or a mother is told at her ultrasound that this new precious life is defective, not right, not normal like other children. Or what do you do with the child who thought they were an adult and made a mistake and now someone who never had the chance to make their own choice is laying hurt or dying? We have so many choices we can make everyday. Some are so easy to make that we take them for grant. Its those that make us stop and think consider the outcome of our choices that really get our attention,

Saturday, 14 June 2008

I'm sitting here trying to figure out where to go with my thoughts. Lots of stuff... so do I start with the kids that really aren't kids so much anymore (at least not in age) their constant jabs and arguments, my fear that maybe one thing will be said to many and hurts will widen the increasing gulf between them. Maybe time wont heal one to many insults or curse words. Maybe I could start with my daughter who I'm afraid to see end one safe relationship ( if there is such a thing in teenage world) to jump back into the world of musical chair who likes who at the moment with a bunch of guys that I don't know because, well....we've all been down the 16 year old girl road before and once you've been down that road you sure don't want your daughter traveling there. Or maybe I could start with my son who has just graduated and is trying to find employment in an uncertain time. But really is there ever a certain time? I know that the season that he's in for him, is his time, but somehow my own uncertainties and fears don't make his time or his process any easier on me. Maybe I could start out with my own inabilities to bring order to my household or find peace in the process of reintegrating a son whose been on his own playing college student for the last three years back into a household where teen queen has ruled in solitude Monday thru Friday. Peace is easy to maintain when girlfriends consume most free time and weekends are short enough to mask the difficulties of blending two different souls into a living space. Maybe I could start with the difficulty of having to reintegrate back into your parents house after playing the college roll for three years. Theres a lot of places I could go searching for some truth and peace for my thoughts but they'd never really touch me or address the problems I'm facing. He's really my only option, my one place of solitude. He's the real answer to all the crap I'm dealing with and the crazy thing is he wants me to come to him and dump all this on him. Isn't it crazy that what I consider crap he's willing, no thrilled when I come to him with it. Everyday of my life he wants to share with me and if parts of it are not pretty and nice he doesn't care he just wants me. Someday's I forget all this isn't that crazy but you see I have so much to do and time and ironing waits for no one and it always seems to be there but...I don't want to turn a blind eye to all the issues that flow around me everyday and just assume that they will work themselves out because thats foolish. Words are powerful and they can break and hurt just as easy as they can bring joy and satisfaction to the hearers and I want my children to understand that no matter where they go in this life there was someone who shared the beginning of the journey with them. How do you make someone love or appreciate someone else? I guess you cant. Some things in this life are sweeter when we choose them for ourselves.

Wednesday, 04 June 2008

yearnings

Tonight as I wandered through my house doing all those end of the day things I found myself frozen at the bathroom window as I reached out to close the blinds. The day was not done and there was still some possibility left and, for a moment I just wanted to turn and flee the bathroom and the house and all the things that were holding me here in my adult world and be a part of the last remaining minutes of this day. As if by closing the blind and going about my plans to shower and close out my day I was somehow shortchanging some unknown possibility. Maybe I could fly outside and find myself back in a place where the evening dusk brought about the laughter of kids and the sounds of voices shouting back and forth "all in". Those were the times when you understood the value of the sumer night. The way you could hide almost in plain sight but cloaked by the growing darkness you could almost reach out and touch the person walking by you but, you wouldn't because you wanted to be one of the ones racing in at the end when the time was called. The way it felt to be out late or so it seemed and to greet the end of the day with the beginning of the evening. So grown up but yet still enjoying the joys of a child. I closed the blind and fought off the thoughts that had been bouncing around my adult head about tomorrow and all that it held. What is the Bible says about not borrowing troubles from tomorrow because today has enough of it own. But today is almost over for me and maybe tomorrow my wildly bouncing thoughts will be tamed enough to stand a little longer at the window and soak up the last vestiges of the day. Blessings on all. Love the gifts that the Lord has richly blessed you with whether it be family or something as simple as the last light of a summer night. .